Memory Mishap
by The Winter Wizard
Summary: This is a random piece of crack!fic parody making fun of the memory that Brom showed Eragon where he talks about being Eragon's real father. The thing is, what if Oromis showed Eragon the wrong memory on accident? AU, Slash, Threesome, Spoof, SMUT


**Disclaimer:** I do not own the owned, hence _The Inheritance Cycle_ does not belong to me but Christopher Paolini and all the rest of his gang at Random House and beyond.

**Author's Note:** This is a random plot-bunny that sprung to mind one day out of the blue. It's kind of weird but possibly funny so I decided to write it down just in case. Just to warn you though, be prepared for slash and a threesome. Eragon's not involved but you'll find out why. Also, this is NOT making fun of slash or those people in real life but of the event in _Brisingr_ where Oromis reveals the dramatic memory to Eragon where Brom's sitting in a clearing and tells him "I am your real father" and all of that stuff. I just got this spoof idea to poke fun at it, so I hope it's funny and not to painful to read. Do take note that this is a crack!fic so will likely contain OOC behaviour, unrealistic sex scenes, bad language, and lots of parody. And now, onto the fanfiction!

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Eragon sat before Oromis dumfounded.

"Brom left a memory _for me_?" He asked incredulously, still shocked that something like that was possible. "But where did you get a Pensieve from? Oops! Sorry about that. Wrong story!"

"No matter," Oromis chuckled with a grandfatherly twinkle in his eyes. "Now let me see. I'm sure it's here somewhere. Hmm. Now where is it? Where did I put that dratted memory? Aha! Here it is!"

And with that he chanted the spell and showed Eragon the memory of Brom sitting in a clearing looking much younger than he was used to and cradling his right hand which had the glowing dragon mark on its palm.

"_Eragon," Past Brom said solemnly. "I am your father!"_

Eragon sniffled. "I feel like I'm from star wars or something!"

"Shut up," Oromis snapped. "Get back to the memory."

"Oh, okay," Eragon grumbled.

"_Now, about your mother...wait! What's that?" Brom asked suddenly._

_His head jerked up and he glanced around the clearing in the woods. Just then, Eragon heard it too. It was a moan! A woman's moan! And it was not a moan of pain, but a moan of pleasure. What. The. Fucking. Hell? Was Brom some kind of pervert or something?_

_But Brom was already up and darting through the trees and bushes. He unsheathed his sword and ran a short ways away to the direction of the moaning sound. _

"_Oh yes! Give it to me!" Eragon heard the female voice cry in ecstasy. "Ravage my tight hot pussy with your thick slab of meat. Pound me until I bleed!"_

_If Eragon could have thrown up, he would have. Unfortunately, this was some kind of weird dream-vision-memory-concoction preventing him from doing so. He could only watch as his supposed father ran into another clearing where he almost tripped over a gorgeous naked woman with midnight black hair who was being fucked forcefully by an older muscular man, also naked, who looked suspiciously like an older version of Murtagh but without the scar._

"_MORZAN!" Brom roared. _

_WHAT THE HECK? Eragon thought in horror. Morzan was in this memory?_

"_Oh yeah, rookie," Morzan said with a sleazy grin and looked at Eragon directly. "In case your daddy is giving you the big 'Star Wars Moment' just know that I had your mom, this hot shot, first. Brom stole Selena from me and now she's getting her punishment and liking it."_

"_Don't listen to him!" Brom said frantically waving his arms. "He's lying. This is an attack of the evil one!"_

"_Shut up lover boy!" The woman called Selena said. "And stuff your hot cock in my mouth."_

"_But, I, Eragon, you, Morzan," Brom stammered._

"_Shut up and fuck my mouth with your dick!" Selena ordered, sweating as she pounded her hips in sync with Morzan._

"_Oh what the heck!" Brom sighed, throwing up his hands in defeat. "I'll just edit this memory later and show Eragon the proper one. I hope these memories don't get mixed up though."_

"_Do you want a blowjob or not, husband?" Selena snapped in a raspy voice._

_Eragon paled and felt faint as Brom nodded eagerly and pulled out his dick. He knelt down and shoved it into Selena's mouth. Eragon's mother proceeded to suck on his cock passionately while her pussy was ravaged by Morzan's cock. Said Foresworn was grunting in pleasure and reached over to fondle Selena's breasts, giving Brom a slap on his bum in the process._

Eragon had enough though and couldn't watch any longer. Thankfully, the spell ended and a thoroughly confused Oromis watched in uncertainty as his student emptied his lunch of semi-digested fruits and vegetables on the forest floor.

"Eragon? Are you okay?" Oromis asked worriedly. "Do you want to rest?"

"No!" Eragon yelped. "That's okay. I'm fine. I must go fight though. The Varden needs me. See ya, bye!"

And with that Eragon leapt onto Saphira's back who promptly soared away to join the Varden in the upcoming battle of the Burning Plains, hoping to erase the awful memory by the impending clash of armies.

Meanwhile, a thoroughly confused and perplexed Oromis was sifting through his memories thoughtfully.

"Hmm," He murmured. "I wonder why Eragon ran off like that. Did I show him the wrong memory or something?"

Finally, he got the memory that he showed Eragon and his eyes bulged in horror as he realized which one it was.

"Barzul!" He said. "Brom must have indeed given me the wrong one. I always wondered why Brom killed his old friend Morzan."

He then was unable to suppress a chuckle at how Brom's poor naive and idealistic son, Eragon, was forced to endure that trauma.

"He'll likely never be the same again," He sighed. "Poor old chap. Oh well, I must be off. Islanzadí wanted one last fuck before going into battle. Oh for the good old days!"

And with that, he stood up and left to go be with his lover, the elf queen, having forever changed the fate of Alagaësia as he knew it.

**The End**

**A/N:** Well, that was kind of stupid and was really just meant to be a crack!fic kind of thing. I do like Brom as a character (not in that way, gah!) and think he's one of the better ones, along with Angela. I just couldn't resist writing this and I hope it'll bring out a good laugh or two. Anyhow, that's about it. But please do review! I always appreciate them even if I don't reply back to you as I sometimes do if I have time.

Thanks for reading!


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